Exactly a week ago I was at a cattle branding. My very first one. I had an idea in my head of what it would be like but I definitely was not prepared at all for what it actually was. Now I wasn't super dressed up or anything just jeans and a t shirt but someone should have told me to wear an old old raggedy t shirt that I did not care if it got stained. I also wore my cowboy boots but that was appropriate. I was expecting to just watch, take some pictures, and have an interesting story. Nope, I was put to work. And I was very hesitant about that.
Basically there are a bunch of cattle in one area kept there by fences and some guys had the job of directing them in the direction of where they were to be branded. One at a time the force the cattle to walk into this big contraption then it is tipped over so the cow or bull (whatever it is based on its sex) is on its side. The contraption has bars on it that hold the cow in place but back legs were also held down with some rope or put in another part of the contraption that would close over it. Someone shaves the spot the brand is going to go on, someone tags the ear, someone gives the cows vaccines, someone brands, and someone holds the tail. I was put to work shaving. Not the most fun thing in the world because you are very close to the cow and the horrible burnt hair smell that occurs when they are branded. And you also get cow poop on you. But I think anyone working there got cow poop on them. Gross. You get cow poop on you because when the cows are branded they make a horrible noise because of course they are in pain but they also poop. No one told me this fact at all. I expected the expression of pain noises, i did not expect all the poop. And this is why someone has to hold their tail because when they poop they will also whip their tail around if you don't hold it and then the poop goes flying everywhere. This is how I got cow poop on me. I was standing there with my clippers to shave the cows and the tail holder had to leave and no one replaced him yet so the tail whipped around and the poop flew. It was on my shirt, my pants, even a little on my face that I wiped off in complete disgust and feeling the urge to cry. I got over it and luckily after maybe 60 cows the guy branding found someone to replace me. I think he could tell I needed a break and after he found out I was from Philadelphia he just laughed at me. Yes, this was not something I had ever experienced or ever thought I would. When I was done my job I had cow poop on me and A LOT of cow hair. I then was able to get a few pictures and watched a calf be bottle fed. Then we headed up to the house of one of the cattle owners for a huge feast. I didn't know this was part of cattle branding either but apparently it's a kind of celebration and there's always a lot of food afterwards. I was very happy to be able to wash my hands and the food was super tasty. The view from their home was also amazing. But you better believe the first thing I did when I got home was take a shower. Oh did I feel dirty. Then I took a nap. Who knew cattle branding could be so exhausting. I don't know if I'll ever go to another one but I do know I want to avoid when they inseminate the cows. I have heard the stories about that and no thanks. I think for my next Montana experience I'll try fishing. Hopefully that doesn't involve getting fish poop on me.
